Oh My, It Has Been A Year!
As of today, I’ve been doing this Sage Advice spiel for a whole year. This is only my 202nd post, though. I’m willing to bet that is an underwhelming number compared to most numbers that exist (we’ve covered this topic, guys).
I’ve written on a wide variety of topics: language, jokes, suicide, warmth, and cancer just to name a few. I’ve also produced an audio play, fake news, ground-breaking fan fiction, and interpretations of modern culture. Not to mention the amazing interviews I’ve conducted. And, of course, I’ve answered questions from a community of brave people who are willing to ask.
Frankly, I think I’m doing this Tumblr thing wrong, but I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing for now until someone tells me not to or tries to kill me. If either of those things happen, I’ll quit. I promise.
I think that’s all there is to say. I just wanted to remind you that I still exist and have been for at least one year (as per records of this thing you’re reading this at).
If you’re fond of the kinda stuff I do, you should subscribe to the podcast thing I make on iTunes. You don’t even have to listen to it. I don’t think it matters. You can find it in your iTunes application or here. You can also “like” Sage Advice on Facebook (I wouldn’t blame you for not doing that though because Facebook is a really weird place). By the way, there’s only a Facebook page for Sage Advice because there’s a Facebook page for “likes”. I’m not kidding. There’s a whole “fan” page for the idea of “liking” something on Facebook. That’s not something I made up. That’s a real thing. So I figured if “liking” something can have a page, it’s not too weird or egoistical of me to make a page for this. At least I try to make stuff that tries to make you guys laugh. What has “liking” ever done for humanity other than spawn things for people to “like”. I realize I’m part of the problem here, but c’mon.
Enough of that.
Thanks for reading.
Please don’t die.
Oh yeah, here’s the very first Sage Advice that was posted one year ago today:
As the ever passive aggressive winds of the northern land masses make their crucially deafening way to the southern regions, the birds are reminded it is time to once more travel upstate where they can wear their dragon-embroidered flannel hoodies without the local populace asking them to leave whichever independently owned coffee shops they were practicing their axe sharpening skills at.
I, too, am reminded that yet another chapter of my life has ended and another awaits my undivided, passionate attention. Unlike the half Canadian, fully blind, and completely void of social skills love child I fathered during my attendance of the second annual Reptile Enthusiast Festival, I plan to do my very best to ensure that this new chapter of my life is given the utmost medical and emotional care that the law and my conscience enforce.
But what does this new chapter truly mean? Will I be redefining myself? Will my canned goods go out of date and require replacement? Am I going to need to go to the DMV and renew or update some form of identification? At this time, it would be unintelligent and impractical to make any guesses no matter how informed they may or may not be.
If you should take anything from this well structured, poem like arrangement of phrases, it is this: there is no telling how long the line at the DMV will be tomorrow and Canadian reptile enthusiasts, though extremely attractive, do not make satisfactory spouses.