Sage Advice

Here's Me Trying To Shame You For Not Playing Robot Unicorn Attack 2

Tue, 07 May 2013 11:42:12 -0400

Here's Me Trying To Shame You For Not Playing Robot Unicorn Attack 2: Do enjoy. It also reveals some...

Say, Here Is A Thing I Wrote That Has A Talking Cat

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 11:25:01 -0400

Say, Here Is A Thing I Wrote That Has A Talking Cat: Honestly, more stories need talking cats. So I...

Look At This Thing I Wrote About Video Games!

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:12:00 -0400

Look At This Thing I Wrote About Video Games!: Say, person reading this, do you like video games?...

I Wrote A Prequel To Jaws From The Perspective Of The Setting

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 16:38:00 -0500

I Wrote A Prequel To Jaws From The Perspective Of The Setting: That link is gonna take you to a...

Frogs, you guys.

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:47:00 -0500

Frogs, you guys.

Hey here is a short story I wrote that you can read!

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:53:32 -0500

Hey here is a short story I wrote that you can read!: I wrote this story and put it on my Wordpress....

Another Place Where I Leave Things On The Internet

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 23:43:22 -0500

I made a Wordpress where I’ll be keeping all my short stories that I like to tinker with. Each...

I wrote a Christmas/Facebook poem for my brother after he forgot...

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:04:57 -0500

I wrote a Christmas/Facebook poem for my brother after he forgot to sign out of his profile on my computer. How whimsical is that? Most people just write terrible things on your timeline when you leave your Facebook profile so vulnerable. I take the time to write you a goddamn poem.

He deleted it very quickly (though I had time to snap a picture of it on my phone). You take the time to do something creative for someone where most people would only seek to humiliate that someone and all you get in return is a digital kick to the groin. Anyway, read it!

-Matthew Fugere

It’s The Most Suicidal Time Of The Year (Now With More Things)

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 20:26:23 -0500

Originally posted last year, now with more things. It’s almost like an expansion pack: Few...

More Things I Wrote On Other Things Or Something!(?)

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 20:13:16 -0500

Hey, look! I wrote some stuff at other places: Like this Best-Of-The-Year list And this review of...

A Reptilian Disposition (A Short Story)

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:24:32 -0500

When President Leon Johansson the Komodo Dragon was running for his party’s nomination, every facet...

Would you rather have someone pour mildly hot tea on your crotch every morning at 7:00 AM to wake you up, or be attacked by fifteen squirrels once every day before you went to bed?

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 18:41:00 -0500

First off, thanks for the question Tim. You’re a scholar and a gentleman, and your consistent...

Making A Better Tomorrow By Lying About Yesterday

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 11:23:33 -0500

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” -Some guy...

Did You Know Paul F. Tompkins' "Laboring Under Delusions: Live In Brooklyn" Is Really Funny?

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:59:23 -0500

Did You Know Paul F. Tompkins' "Laboring Under Delusions: Live In Brooklyn" Is Really Funny?: As I...

More Comedy Reviews I Wrote Awhile Ago And You Should Read Because You're A Person Who Likes That Kind Of Stuff Or Maybe You're Not Hey Man I'm Not Judging You Just Go On About Your Day Or Whatever

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 18:57:47 -0500

Anyway, here are my thoughts on Moshe Kasher’s latest special. Also, Lewis Black’s. You...

A Pussy Bias: Sexism In Our Use Of Vulgar Language

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 19:36:53 -0400

I say dick at least a hundred times a day. Of those hundred times, only about 30% are in reference...

My Thoughts On Tig Notaro's "Live" And Jim Gaffigan's "Mr. Universe" On The Comic's Comic

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 14:54:00 -0400

My Thoughts On Tig Notaro's "Live" And Jim Gaffigan's "Mr. Universe" On The Comic's Comic: Howdy...

Please Go Read This Thing Here If You Like Comedy, Demetri Martin, Me, Things I Write, Or Baby Seals

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 17:36:00 -0400

Please Go Read This Thing Here If You Like Comedy, Demetri Martin, Me, Things I Write, Or Baby...

I Divided By Zero (A Short Story)

Sun, 07 Oct 2012 17:47:33 -0400

I once divided by zero. Someone gave me something and told me to give it to all the other someones,...

Please Don't Call Me: Understanding Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 15:29:52 -0400

Terrible pop music seems to attract two audiences. One is the sincere—people who legitimately take...